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(Submitted by Alex Greenspan)  READ THIS VERY SLOWLY.......  IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND..................  STOP AND THINK ABOUT LIFE........ Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched Jeopardy! on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gasp and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite"It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We'll entertain-when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on" and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit." When anyone calls my 'seize the moment! ' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five  minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my hips with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.  Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you. Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round. Or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.  Do you run through each day on the fly?  When you ask, "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?  When the day is done, Do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow, And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"? You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an   unopened gift....Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (Written after she found out she was dying from cancer.) (Submitted by Ruth Isaac) I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't how soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's." But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it ... and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing. Each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually. Life is too short to let it pass you by.  We  only have one shot at this and then it's gone.

(Submitted by Alex Greenspan)       "The Awakening"       A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in       the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your       tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH!       Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold       on.       Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink       back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.       This is your awakening.       You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something       to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically       appear over the next horizon.       You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy       tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after"       must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born      of acceptance.       You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not       everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what       you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and       opinions.       You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...       and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of       self-approval.       You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things       they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the       only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.       You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean       what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you       and that everything isn't always about you.       So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of       yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is       born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you       begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human       frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of       forgiveness.       You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of       view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you       really stand for.       You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you       begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or       should never have bought into to begin with. You learn that there is       power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering       through life merely as a "consumer" ooking for your next fix.       You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not       the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the       foundation upon which you must build a life.       You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to       save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn       that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that       martyrs get burned at the stake.       Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships       as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn       that alone does not mean lonely.       You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.       You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and       the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.       You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,       smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.       You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to       care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a       balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.       You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty       and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the       body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to       play.       You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you       believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling       prophecy.       You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for       and that wishing for something to happen is different than       working toward making it happen.       More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success       you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn       that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for       help.       You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself.       You learn to step right into and through your fears because you       know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to       give away the right to live life on your own terms.       You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living       under a cloud of impending doom.       You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get       what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen       to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it       personally.       You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't       always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to       admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.       You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and       resentment must be understood and redirected or they will       suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.       You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the       simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people       upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean       running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.       Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself       and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to       never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.       You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to       stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your       window so you can listen to the wind.       Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take       a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live       as best you can.       Author Unknown

Submitted by T.K.Alkin TAKE HOLD OF EVERY MOMENT A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk garment and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said: "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion". I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days". I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them. Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about. If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it "One of these days", remember that "One day" is far away... or might never come... This TANTRA came from India. No matter if you're superstitious or not, spend some time reading it. It holds useful messages for the soul. Don't keep this message. This Tantra must leave your hands within 96 hours. Send copies and watch what goes on in the next four days. You'll have a pleasent surprise. This is true, even if you're not superstitious. Now, here's the fun of it: send this message to at least 5 people and you're life improves. 0-4 people: your life improves slightly. 5-9 people: your life imnproves according to your expectations! 9-14 people: you'll have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks. 15 or more people: your life improves drastically and your dreams start to take shape.

Submitted by Alec Greenspan Nostalgia  "Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "what was your   favorite fast food when you were growing up?"   "We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him.   "All the food was slow."   "C'mon, seriously.  Where did you eat?"   "It was a place called 'at home,' " I explained. Grandma Stewart   cooked every day and when Grandpa Stewart got home from work,   we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't   like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like   it."   By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going   to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about   how I had to have permission to leave the table.   But here are some other things I would have told him about my   childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:   My parents never owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a   golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.   In their later years they had something called a revolving charge   card.   The card was good only at Sears Roebuck.   Or maybe it was   Sears AND Roebuck.  Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore.   Maybe he died.   My parents never drove me to soccer practice.   This was   mostly because we never had heard of soccer.   But also   because we didn't have a car.   We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but   my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black   and white, but they bought a piece of coloredplastic to cover   the screen.  The top third was blue, like the  sky, and the   bottom third was green, like grass.  The middle third was   red.  It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire   trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day.   I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza. It was a Luigi's   Pizza on the west side of Cleveland and my friend,   Ronnie, took me there to try what he said was "pizza   pie."   When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth   and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself   against my chin and burned that, too.  It's still the   best pizza I ever had.   We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only   car in our family was my grandfather's Plymouth.   He   called it a "machine."   I never had a telephone in my room.   The only phone in the   house was in the living room and it was on a party line.   Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure   some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.   Pizzas were not delivered to our home.  But milk was.   All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered   newspapers. I delivered the Cleveland "News" six days a week.   It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. On   Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers.   My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents   and told me to keep the change.   My least favorite   customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on   collection day.   If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food,   you may want to share some of these memories with   your children or grandchildren.   Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Cows and Business (Submitted by Marion Hirschman)  You have two cows.  You sell one and buy a bull.  Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.  You sell them and retire on the income.  ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:  You have two cows.  You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of  credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a  debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all  four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of  the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island  company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights  to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says  the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow  to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.  No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.  AN AMERICAN CORPORATION  You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk  of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.  A FRENCH CORPORATION  You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.  A JAPANESE CORPORATION  You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of  an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create  clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.  A GERMAN CORPORATION  You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat  once a month, and milk themselves.  A BRITISH CORPORATION  You have two cows. Both are mad.  AN ITALIAN CORPORATION  You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for  lunch.  A RUSSIAN CORPORATION  You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You  count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and  learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of  vodka.  A SWISS CORPORATION  You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for  storing them.  A HINDU CORPORATION  You have two cows. You worship them.  A CHINESE CORPORATION  You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full  employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported  the numbers.  AN ISRAELI CORPORATION  So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an  ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves  to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people  AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION  You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

(Submitted by Marion  Hirschman) Subject: Limited Time Tropical Vacation Offer! Are the sounds of daisy cutters keeping you up all night? Are you tired of sleeping in that cold dark cave wondering if and when you will ever eat again? Did the boss skip town and leave you holding the bag? Is the Northern Alliance causing you more grief than camel hairs in your milk? Then we have just the thing for you! Gitmo Resorts in collaboration with the US military is proud to offer this once in a lifetime opportunity. If you are, or have been a member, in good standing with either the Taliban or Al Qaeda then you could be the lucky recipient of a luxurious vacation in beautiful Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.   Beautiful beaches and fun in the sun! Really! To see if you qualify, simply visit one of the US Marine detachments located conveniently near your cave. If you are selected then you will be whisked away in one of our finest, state of the art, transport planes. Upon arrival at the Gitmo Resort you will be pampered beyond your wildest dreams. Worried about what to wear? No problem! We will furnish you with a brand new wardrobe at our expense. We will even provide plenty of hot water for showers that were at one time only a dream for you and your buddies. You can forget about sleeping on the hard ground of that cave with barely a blanket to cover you. Forget the cold and snow! All of our guests sleep on top quality mattresses while enjoying the comforts of a modern climate controlled environment. You, yes you, will be the envy of all your friends back in Afghanistan as you relax in a tropical paradise and eat three square meals a day. Worried about security? No need to worry about that. Armed guards will be with you 24/7. You can forget about that pesky Northern Alliance and devote all of your time and attention to Allah. We will even provide signs that point the way to Mecca. Just listen to what Amhad "The Goat" Rushoubi is saying about his stay at the resort: "I joined Al Qaeda after a blind date in Kabul went terribly wrong. I thought joining Club Al Qaeda would give me a sense of fulfillment. I thought, I am young and fit, I can do this and maybe, I will finally "get lucky"...Sure, there were those pesky promises....and silly "anti-survival" blood pacts...But I thought, I could meet hot and sexy chicks and impress them with my cool new weapons and "You Too Can be a Martyred Training".  I thought I might even get my promised quota of virgins BEFORE I went to Heaven".... But I was wrong! Terribly wrong.... After many months of living in the cold with very little to eat, and being shot at and bombed by everyone I met....I got sick of it all....so I decided to try the Gitmo Getaway package. And Al Queda Brothers...I tell you guys I have absolutely no regrets! It was more than a pleasant surprise to see real American Fruit Loops for the first time!  They taste so much better than month old goat cheese. The people here think of everything. Some of the security people are women, real babes, who do not cover their faces! I got very excited when I saw them."   Need we say more? So if you think you might qualify for this incredible opportunity then walk, but don't run, to the nearest American military unit near your cave. Be sure to specify that you want "the American plan" as other offers might leave you eating grass in a wooden cage. Sign up today before this offer expires. Some restrictions do apply. Special Operations Radio Operators are standing by to take your calls 24/7. (Offer good for a limited time only to members of Al Qaeda or the Taliban. You must be actively engaged in military actions or conspiracies against the United States. Some recipients of this offer may be required to wear shackles at the discretion of the military hosts. Length of stay subject to immediate termination by military tribunal, legal action, repatriation or firing squad.) This sponsered US taxpayer announcement is brought to you by your good friends in  US military Operations and your long lost Uncle Sugar. For all non-Marines and non-Navy guys, Guantanimo Bay, Cuba, is known to the Marines and Navy as "Gitmo" or "Gitmo Bay")

We can all learn from this!!! (Submittedby David Starkman)     This will give you cold chills, but puts life into perspective!  At a     fund-raising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled    children,  the father of one of the school's students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a  question     "Everything God does is done with perfection. Yet, my son, Shay,    cannot  learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as    other  children do. Where is God's plan reflected in my son?"  The audience   was   stilled by the query.  The father continued. "I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like Shay into the world, an opportunity to realize the Divine Plan presents itself.  And it comes in the way people treat that child."     Then, he told the following story:     Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew     were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they will let me play?"Shay's father knew that most boys would not want him on their team. But the father understood that if his son were allowed to play it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging.  Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We are losing by six runs, and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning." In the bottom of the eighth inning.  Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. At the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield.     Although no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the     stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base. Shay  was scheduled to be the next at-bat. Would the     team actually let Shay bat at this juncture and give away their chance to     win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.  Everyone knew    that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay    stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob     the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact.    The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.  The pitcher    again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shay.  As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball to the     pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown    the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would    have ended the game.  Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman.  Everyone      started yelling, "Shay, run to first. Run to first."  Never in his    life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.  Everyone yelled "Run to second, run to second!" By the time Shay was rounding first base, the right fielder had the ball.  He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for a tag. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions had been, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head.  Shay ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!"  As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay! Run home!"  Shay ran home, stepped on home plate and was cheered as the hero, for hitting a "grand slam" and winning the game for his team. That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of the Divine Plan into this world."     And now, a footnote to the story. We all send thousands of jokes    through e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages regarding life choices, people think twice about sharing.  The crude, vulgar, and sometimes the obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of decency is too often suppressed in school and the workplace.     If you are thinking bout forwarding this message, you are probably     thinking about which people on your address list aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message.  The person who sent this to you believes that we can all make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities a day to help realize God's plan. So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:     Do we pass along a spark of the Divine? Or do we pass up that     opportunity, and leave the world a bit colder in the process?     You have two choices now:       1. Delete this.       2. Forward it to the people you care about.     You know the choice I made.

Subject: Fw: I hate to give Ollie North any credit, but?     This is something most people have forgotten       Do you remember this? (submitted by Alex Grossman) IT WAS 1987!       At a lecture the other day they played an old video of Lt. Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan administration.       There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree. But what he said was stunning!!       He was being drilled by some senator; "Did you not recently to $60,000 for a home security system?"       Ollie replied, "Yes I did sir."       The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience," Isn't this just a little excessive?" "No sir," continued Ollie.       "No? And why not?" the senator asked.       "Because the lives of my family and I were threatened sir."       "Threatened? By whom?" the senator questioned.       "'By a terrorist, sir." Ollie answered.       "Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?"       "His name is Osama bin Laden sir." Ollie replied.       At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't      pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued.       "Why are you so afraid of this man?" the senator asked.       "Because sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of," Ollie      answered       "And what do you recommend we do about him?" asked the senator.       "Well sir, if it were up to me, I would recommend that an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth."       The senator disagreed with this approach and that was all that we shown of the clip.       If anyone is interested, the Senator turned out to be none other than Al Gore.       Isn't it amazing how soon we all forget?

They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy....... (submitted by Roy Taylor)

ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE Read all the way to the bottom! If you will take the time to read these. I promise you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis! I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day. I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult. I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class. I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. I've learned.... That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can? I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds. I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am. I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. I've learned.... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks. I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. I've learned.... That life is tough, but I'm tougher. I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss. I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away. I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them. I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. I've learned.... That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it. I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life. I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it. I've learned ... That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation. I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done. To all of you.... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!! YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED! Now send this to every friend you have!! And to your family. This was sent to me.

The Gold Wrapping Paper Submitted byRabbi NORMAN BERLAT

It's said that we have a choice to make. I've chosen. Now it's your turn  to choose.  The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 5-year-old  daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was  tight and he became even more upset when the child pasted the gold paper  so as to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.  Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father the  next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." The father was  embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He spoke to her in a harsh manner: "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be  something inside the package? The little girl looked up at him with  tears in her eyes and said: "Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into  it until it was full." The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and  put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her to forgive him for his  unnecessary anger.  An accident took the life of the child only a short time later and it is  told that the father kept the gold box by his bed for all the years of  his life. And whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems he would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love  of the child who had put it there.  In a very real sense, each of us as human beings have been given a  golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children,  family, friends and God. There is no more precious possession anyone  could hold.  You now have two choices ... you can:  1. Pass this on to your friends, or  2. Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart.  As you can see, I took choice No. 1. Friends are like angels who lift us  to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.